Kay

“SCAN came into my life, not by choice but by force.” Those were the opening words of Kay Morgan’s graduation speech in 2003 after a year of being drug-free and receiving intensive counseling services at SCAN’s Family Renewal Center in the Bronx. In a voice almost inaudible, she then described how ACS had charged her with the educational neglect of her children, had threatened to send her for drug testing and how she had been forced to attend SCAN counseling as a condition of keeping her children.

Coasting on Drugs

“I’m from Jamaica. I thought it was in me to smoke weed and I didn’t think it was wrong,” Kay explained. A single mother of four, she would leave for work early in the morning, expecting her oldest child to care for the others. But many days, none of them went to school. In the afternoons, Kay openly smoked marijuana in front of her children and would then coast along in “the world I wanted to be in”. She had a finite concept of parenting: the kids were supposed to do as she dictated. Screaming was how she communicated.

When confronted by ACS, Kay denied using drugs and defiantly insisted her smoking weed was not interfering with her parenting. But she was deeply afraid that she might lose her children to foster homes, and she reluctantly agreed to go to SCAN. Privately, she maintained that she would do what she had to do to get through the program, but “I am going to go back to smoking weed, because that’s who I am. I am going to have a smoking weed party as soon as I finish the program.

Facing Up to Reality

Over time, and in large measure due to the strong bond forged with Donna Pierce, her Case Planner, and Carmen McDermott, her Family Educator, Kay began to see that SCAN was there “not to harm me, but to help.” She gained personal insights and a fresh ability to be honest with herself. “I didn’t consider myself addicted, but I was. I needed to smoke even to clean the house.” She also learned parenting skills. “Now we sit and talk. Kids have to talk too. I don’t have to believe them, but I know how to listen. The veil came from over my eyes in SCAN.”

At the end of her year with SCAN, Kay began working with SCAN part-time, helping in the childcare room and later cooking in the ‘Breakfast Club’. And then, in 2005, Kay became a Family Educator herself. She provides housing and food support and advice for mothers enrolled in SCAN’s preventive counseling program and visits their children’s schools to obtain reports and feedback – just as Carmen had done for her.

Looking Back – Looking Forward

Having always lived on public assistance, Kay now proudly says, “I came from being a client to working for a paycheck. Every 15th and 30th, I’m sure of my check.” Reflecting on the impact that her recovery has had on her grown daughter who has her own child, Kay says, “She’s trying to be the mother I am now, as opposed to the ‘before Mom’. I wasn’t really such a good Mom. Since SCAN I feel like I am making up for lost time. I plan to go to college. I want to push further, because I like what I do. Someday I hope to do for others what SCAN has done for me.”